Letting go

It has been awhile since I have written. Life seems to keep going faster and faster; so much is and has been going on lately, both personally and in the world. We have gone through an historic election here in the United States; the world financial markets are in turmoil; wildfires in California have destroyed multimillion dollar homes; wars and battles are going on in various places around the world; earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters hit with deadly regularity.

With so much happening, it is easy to want to hang onto something to feel more in control. We hang onto things that remind us of people or events that are in the past. Maybe we cannot go back to a place or a time that was important to us, or bring back a person who is no longer with us, but if we have the stuff that reminds us of it all, somehow we think that is going to help with the sense of loss. It can get to the point that we have so much "stuff" that we are burying ourselves (and our homes) with the past instead of living in the present and moving on into the future.

Sometimes we hang onto things, too, because we think we might "need" it someday. Keep that extra blanket, or those clothes, or that thing we no longer use regularly, because you never know when you might need it again. We slowly build up a wall of things around us that cut us off from others and from being open to something new.

This happens not just with things but also with ideas and expectations. We get it in our heads that life is supposed to go a certain way, and when it does not follow the path we expect, we are devastated and lost or angry. Life is unpredictable, that is one of the joys and terrors of life; map it out all you like, but somewhere along the line, things will not go quite the way you planned, no matter how careful you are. If we hold on to our expectations and ideas too firmly, we will find that we have built up walls that keep out new things that might be even better than what we had in mind.

A good example of that is a recent trip we made to California. We drove our pickup down so we could take tools with us for working on a house and bring back some things. All went well on the trip down, and we were able to get quite a bit of work done (though not as much as we had hoped). On the way back, however, the truck broke down and we spent an extra night and day while we waited to have the truck checked out and hopefully repaired. Instead of driving home in the pickup, we ended up driving home in a new slightly used car (which just happens to be exactly the make I had wanted for years). When we first starting to look around the lot to see our options, I immediately pointed to one car and jokingly said, "There's my car!" After looking at pickups and cars, both new and used, we realized that the only vehicle that would work for us was that particular car; none of the pickups had what we needed and wanted on them, and none of the other cars would carry everything that we had to take home with us. We definitely had not planned on buying a car then, and certainly not under those circumstances, but I am thoroughly enjoying driving "my" car and am thankful for it.

Now don't get me wrong; I am as guilty of holding tightly to expectations and things as anyone else. I look around my house and garage and wonder how we ever ended up having so much stuff. It is easy to fall into the trap of thinking if only we had a bigger house, it would not get so cluttered. But stuff has a habit of expanding to fill the space allotted for it (and then some). No, we do not need a bigger house; we need to pare down, to let go, to not hold on so tightly. The same is true of expectations; while we may hope and expect things to go a certain way, we need to make room in our thinking for the possibility that God might have a different plan than the one we have laid out. That is where developing a relationship with God and learning to listen to what he has to say about the future is so important. If we have a firm understanding and belief that God is ultimately good, that he loves us and will carry us through whatever happens, then we can adapt and adjust when things do not go quite the way we expect.

There are some things that are too precious to let go, however. Our relationships with our families and friends are far more important than the things that fill our lives. Our relationship with God can provide the foundation and security that we so desperately need and want in life. God can fill the hole in our hearts that we too often try to fill up with things or addictions.

Have you found that security in knowing God? If not, he is waiting to meet you where you are, to fill up all the places that are lacking in your life. If you know him but find you are still in that place of trying to fill a hole that is never quite satisfied, ask him to help you let go of those things and to satisfy you with himself. He is more than enough for all that we need.

November 16, 2008