A matter of perspective

I have been reflecting lately on what a difference perspective makes, in every area of life. Some years ago my spouse and I traveled to the Grand Canyon. Talk about feeling small and insignificant! The vastness of that canyon and its beauty was breathtaking. We were not going to be there very long and did not plan to hike to the bottom, we knew we were not prepared for that kind of adventure. At a campground talk, however, one of the rangers spoke and encouraged everyone to walk at least partway down the trail, to experience the canyon in a new way. We decided to take the time to walk down the next day at least far enough that we were completely below the rim. The difference that made in our perspective was amazing; instead of being so vast that its size was unreal, the canyon suddenly felt more intimate and real. That experience changed our view of the canyon forever.

The view that I have of myself, others, life, and God makes a major difference in my attitude, actions, and reactions. If someone I do not know well does something that hurts me,  my reaction may be to suspect that they do not like me and did it deliberately. I may or may not make the effort to find out if that was really their intent or not depending on how important the issue was to me. On the other hand, if someone I know well and consider to be a friend does the same thing, I am going to believe that there must be a reason why they did that hurtful thing and that his or her intent was good, that no harm was intended towards me. If it was significant enough, I will probably go to that person and find out what was going on, otherwise I will let it go and continue to believe the best about him or her. What makes the difference? It is my perspective; with a stranger or acquaintance, I have no way of knowing what is in his or her heart towards me. With a friend, I have history and experience; we have shared enough of our hearts with one another that I have a good idea of what he or she thinks about me.  

It takes time, experience, and commitment to develop the kind of relationship that can weather the storms and difficulties of life. We have to get to know one another at something beyond a surface level in order for that to happen. Hopefully we have those kind of relationships in our families; that is where our first relationships are formed, and it is where the longest and deepest commitments should exist. Life does not always work that way, however; for many, family is anything but a safe place for relationship. Until we find at least one safe, loving relationship, we have difficulty trusting anyone, and our perspective is that of one on the outside looking in, keeping others at a safe distance to avoid being hurt. Until we take the risk and go deeper, below the surface in our relationships, we are missing a whole different perspective on relationships. I do not mean that we have to try and have deep, intimate relationships with everyone we know, but we do need to cultivate at least a few relationships that go well beyond a surface level in order to enrich one another's lives.

My perspective on myself is important in all this as well. If I am not living up to some impossible standard that I have set for myself and see myself as a loser, I will not believe that anyone else will want to know me below the surface or would accept me if they did. I have to believe the best about myself, too, not with a puffed up, arrogant, better-than-you attitude but with a gentle, realistic love for who I am and who I am becoming. I am not satisfied with everything in my life, but I am content to be who I am at this moment in time, while still working towards becoming better. Learning to see myself as God sees me changes my perspective. If God, who knows me better than I know myself, loves me right where I am today, then I can do the same thing, and I can risk letting someone else know me, too, so that I can go deeper in my relationships.

In Thoughts on the nature of God, I talked about the importance of my view of God and what I believe about him. Perspective makes all the difference. If I have a relationship with God, I am going to view him differently than if I do not. For many years, I saw God as being out there somewhere, distant both emotionally and physically. After all, he is GOD; he has the whole universe to take care of, so he could not possibly care about me other than to smack me when I do something wrong. I discovered, however, that I could have a relationship with God and get to know him, and the deeper I go with him, the more I realize that he really does care about me. He is anything but distant; he is the most intimate and closest of friends now. My perspective has changed because I have gone below the surface with him, and the deeper I go, the deeper I want to go in my relationship with him.

If you have not experienced this relationship with God that I have talked about, or if you are going through a difficult time, we would like to pray for you. Send us your prayer request at prayer@g3-rains.com or fill out the contact form on our Contact page. Your prayer request, as well as your comments, will be kept confidential, and you will not be added to any mailing lists.

January 27, 2008